Hope Deferred

Can pursuit of a blessing become a curse?

June and July and their husbands have spent the last year trying to start a family and now they're desperate for answers. As one couple works with specialists to see how medicine can help them conceive, the other must fight to save their marriage.

Will their deferred hope leave them heart sick, or start them on the path to the fulfillment of their dreams?

Book two in the Christian Women's Fiction series, Hope Deferred continues the journey begun in Faith Departed. Get your copy today to walk along side these sisters and their husbands as they struggle to find a way to joy.

“I’ve done all I can.” Dr. Strong tented her fingers.

June swallowed the lump in her throat. It wasn’t a
surprise, not really. But the verdict still left her breathless.
“So now what?”

“You’ll want to find a reproductive endocrinologist. I’ll make a copy of your file for you, hopefully that’ll keep you from having to re-do three cycles of Clomid before moving on to something more likely to work.”

June nodded. If only it was really that easy. She couldn’t just go to an RE. Even with a referral from Dr. Strong, her insurance was going to fight it. And if they didn’t pay…would Toby even consider it?

“Do you have someone you recommend?”

Dr. Strong shook her head. “Not really. It’s not my specialty
—and different insurance companies cover different medical groups. You tell me who your policy is most likely to work with and I’ll write the referral to them.”

“That’s easy. No one.” June huffed out a breath. “Sorry. I’ll
have to read through everything again, but I’m fairly sure they’re not going to cover anything.”

“Then I’d recommend choosing someone whose office is
easy to get to first thing in the morning. You’ll be making daily,
or at least every other day, visits for ultrasounds during treatment.” The doctor tapped a pen against her desk. “Tell you what, I’m going to fill out the form but leave the practice name blank. That way, once you decide where you’re going, you can just fill it in. Saves you another office visit with me.”

“Thanks.” June watched as Dr. Strong scribbled on a pad of
paper. How was she going to convince Toby?

JUNE’S HEAD fell back against the top of her desk chair. Why
couldn’t insurance companies just write in plain English? Her
pulse throbbed in her temples and words continued to swim in front of her eyes, despite the fact that she was no longer looking at her computer screen. Her eyelids drifted shut. At least…at least what? Her mind went blank. Surely there were blessings to count somewhere?

“There she is, my beautiful bride.” Toby’s lips brushed
across her forehead.

“Hi, sweetie. How was your day?” June flicked her eyes to
the computer screen—it had gone blank. Thank goodness for screen savers. The conversation about medical treatment to start a family could wait for a little while. At least until she got her thoughts together.

“Eh.” He shrugged. “You know how it is. How was your day
off?”

Or maybe it couldn’t wait.

“Fine…I had a consultation with
Dr. Strong.”

Toby ran a hand through his hair. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I should have mentioned it—meant to, in fact—I just
never figured out how. Then I thought it’d just be easier to tell you once I knew what she had to say. I’m sorry.”

He sank into his chair and leaned forward, elbows on his
knees. “Okay. I guess. So what did she say?”

June sighed. It was better to rip the band-aid off, right? “She can’t do anything else for us. It’s time to see a specialist if we’re going to keep trying.”

Toby nodded but said nothing.
June watched him. What was he thinking? The wheels were
spinning behind his eyes, but his expression stayed blank. “We don’t have to talk about it now. Or even do anything about it right away.”

“How are you doing?”

June drew her eyebrows together. He wasn’t mad that
she’d forgotten to mention the appointment? Or that they
were going to have to pay for this out of pocket? “Um…okay, I guess. Disappointed. But I’m honestly starting to get used to that. This last year has left a layer of discouragement over
most of my life that’s thicker than the dust on the
bookshelves.”

The corner of Toby’s mouth quirked up. “Is that a hint that I
need to dust more?”

“You know what I mean.”

“So, just disappointed?”

What was he getting at? “Not just, no. But I haven’t sorted
through everything yet—processed it, I guess. I…honestly, I was more worried that you were going to be angry.”

He rolled his chair closer to hers and took her hand. “I’m
sorry.”

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. As far as we
know, all our problems are my fault. If anyone needs to be
sorry, it’s me. I know you didn’t sign on for a broken wife.”

He squeezed her hand. “That’s not what I meant—and
you’re not broken. But we’ll come back to that.” He cleared his throat and waited until their eyes met. “I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like you can’t—or shouldn’t—talk to me about this. I don’t want you to only worry that I’m going to be angry when you’re hurting.”

“Oh.” June offered a slight smile. “Thanks.”

“I love you. Kids or no kids. When I asked you to marry me,
I signed on to be your husband and spend the rest of my life
with you. Anything else is gravy.” He stood and kissed her forehead. “Why don’t I see what I can scrounge for dinner? Then afterward, we can tackle the nightmare of the insurance website and see what we can figure out.”

June’s mouth dropped open as he left the room. He was
taking this so well…had her impressions from the last four
months been that far off? After their first failed cycle on Clomid in April, he’d been so insistent that they wait until June to try again. Then when that cycle failed, he’d pushed for another break before a third try. She’d assumed he was going to want an even longer break now that he was going to have to be more
actively involved in the process. Maybe he didn’t understand how much more he was going to have to do? Even if he didn’t, she was going to savor having him back on her side for as long as it lasted.