Love Defined

Dreams Change. Plans Fail.

July and Gareth have reached the end of their infertility treatment options. With conflicting feelings on adoption, they struggle to discover common ground in their marriage.

Meanwhile, July's twin sister, June, and her husband, Toby, are navigating the uncertainties of adoption and the challenges of new parenthood.

How much stretching can their relationships endure before they snap?

Get your copy of the final installment of this Christian Women's Fiction series today to see how June, July, and their husbands find their way to peace.

“So, I guess that’s it?” A lead weight settled in July’s
stomach and she leaned against the headrest of the
passenger seat and closed her eyes.

Gareth’s fingers closed around hers and squeezed.

“I’m not wrong though, am I?” She cracked open an eye and
held his gaze.

He shook his head. “No. Probably not.”

She turned and stared out the window as Gareth backed
out of the parking spot and pointed the car toward home. Two more miscarriages. This time twins. Five babies she’d never know this side of heaven and none to hold. Even the ever-confident-in-his-ability Dr. DiCola couldn’t honestly recommend they try IVF for a third time. “What now?”

“I think we pray about what’s next. There’s no need to jump
into anything, Jules.”

Flashes of colorful spring blossoms blurred together as they sped around the Beltway. He was probably right… though the ache in her heart screamed for action. Maybe they should go ahead and try a third time anyway. What could it hurt?

July opened her mouth to ask, then snapped it shut. There were entirely too many ways trying again could hurt.

Another miscarriage topped that list, followed closely by the stress on their marriage. Another miscarriage… even if they didn’t pursue IVF again, getting pregnant hadn’t been her problem.

The thought had been that IVF would make keeping the babies easier, plus speed up the timeframe since she was working with just one fallopian tube.

But it was likely she’d end up pregnant again if they didn’t
decide how to keep that from happening. She didn’t want to
go on the pill… would Gareth ever consider a vasectomy?

Though that was so permanent. Maybe she needed to look into natural family planning more closely. June had mentioned it to her last year and it might just be the perfect solution.

July blew out a breath. “Can I be honest with you?”

Gareth glanced over, brow knitting. “Always.”

“I’m not… I don’t know how to pray about this.” She twisted
her fingers in her lap. She’d spent so much time praying for a child that now… what was left to say? God had given her children. Five of them. She just didn’t get to keep them long.

Had she not been specific enough in her prayers? Surely God knew she’d meant that she wanted to hold her babies, nurture them… watch them grow to adulthood?

“I haven’t got an easy answer. I…” He sighed and flicked on
the turn signal before pulling onto their exit. “Maybe we pray
about that first? Ask Him to make His will clear to us. Because I’ll be honest, I thought we were doing what He wanted us to do. I don’t understand why we’re in this situation any more than you do.”

Gareth didn’t have any answers either? How did that work?

He was always the one who understood when things went
wrong. Her heart began to race and she swallowed the bile that tried to inch up her throat.

Was this what a panic attack felt like?

“Hey.” Gareth pulled into the driveway and shifted into
park. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Right. Sure they would.

With a gentle finger, Gareth lifted her chin and held her
gaze. “We will. I know it doesn’t seem like it’s possible. And I
don’t have any answers, but I have faith.”

She offered a short nod. “Okay. You’re right.”

July took a deep breath in through her nose and held it. Her heart rate slowed as she let the air escape.

“That’s my girl.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Come on,
let’s go in. You can put your feet up. Maybe we’ll find something good on TV.”